The me i think i am

I was driving around in circles this morning thinking about things.

Wasting time.

Trying not to be at home or anywhere else that someone might ask me to do something for them.

And then it hit me.

Like a ton of bricks.

And with extreme clarity.

I am a grudge holder.

Period.

Wow.

44 years into this freak show and I am starting to understand the me that I think I am.

Naturally, I had to have a conversation with myself about this revelation.

And naturally, I had to convince myself that it is okay to own it.

But it is so clear now.

As hard as I try, there are just somethings I can't let go.

I am pretty good at forgiving.

I am awesome at saying sorry.  (Apparently to a fault - according to my family)

I am not so good at forgetting.

And today - right this very moment - I am okay with that.

I wonder what I'll learn about myself tomorrow?

A26

My drivers license expired and I didn't know it.

So here I sit at the DPS office waiting.

Everyone in this room is given an identity in the form of a number.

My number - A26.

I just sat down.

There is a TV screen flashing many different combinations.

In the world of A's - they are on A20.

**************

Over an hour into this process.

Sitting and waiting for the robo-voice to call my number.

Waiting and waiting and waiting.

I am aware of the many different people around me.

I took my seat on the back row so I could see them all.

There are more men here than women.

There are a few kids - one in particular that cries a lot.

A22

There is a deaf dude walking around passing out a card asking for donations.

I smile and wave and do not give - not because I don't want to, but because I gave my last $2 to a guy that asked me for money outside.

There are a few people talking on the phone.

So so loud.

If the one lady has any sort of medical trauma while here, we will all be able to give the paramedics her medical history because she is talking so incredibly loud.

The fella beside me is trying to pick up an extra shift at work.

A23

Mother in front of me quizzing her kid on French vocabulary.

She is very encouraging.

Lady 3 rows up and 4 chairs over is a social worker.  She is here with a young lady that is trying to take her drivers license test.  Social worker is lovingly holding the most beautiful baby while the young woman takes her test.

There are lots of couples here.  Is this a date spot?  Why is my husband at work?

I wonder if I started singing if anyone would join me.

Besides breathing, I wonder what I have in common with all of these people.

I did run Into a mom from the school.

That is always good incase I need her to vouch for my whereabouts.

In my range of vision i have counted 17 people on their phone and 2 people on iPads.

A24

There are 3 people here wearing sunglasses on their forehead.  I want to ask so badly if that doesn't bother them.

None of the women are wearing clothes that need to be pressed.

Tshirts and knit tops all around.

Young woman comes out to her social worker and they hug and make a sweet baby sandwich.  From what I gather, she just passed her drivers license test and this is going to make a great impact on her life with her baby.  Social worker over the moon with pride.

A25

A different Young girl comes out with her permit and her mom hugs her and they laugh together.  The visual and social difference between the two young ladies that both came out filled with pride is almost ironic.

It is a true social experiment in this building.

A25

I am only 1 away.

They are calling A25 again.

Maybe they skipped out and I will be called

A25 report to cube 11.

Hot damn, I am up.

.

Challenging Blog - I mean, Blogging Challenge

Jeff has a load of cousins.
And even though we have been married for 24 years, I haven't met the majority of them.  And oddly enough, neither has he.

But I have met Jeff's cousin, Dawn.
She is a lover of words.
And she likes to help people write.

And I am always curious about what she has going on.
So I read her stuff.

She is offering a 14-day blogging challenge.
And for some strange reason, I am compelled to participate.

I LOVE to write.
I am always driving around thinking of things I would like to blog about.
Not because I want people to know my business, but because I love putting my thoughts down and sending them on their way.

I am not the best writer.
I also don't really give a flip about proper grammar.
Surprisingly, I have quite a few friends that are grammar Nazi's.  My hope is that they teach me a little proper grammar while I teach them to lighten up a little.  (one can hope)

So here I go.
Gonna do the 14-day challenging blog.

Maybe it will set me free.
Maybe it will make my eye twitch.
Either way, I am up for the challenge.

Friendsgiving 2015

Friends are the family we chose for ourselves.
I am one lucky girl.

Tried As An Adult

The one that first made me a mom turned 18 today.
It seems so hard to believe.

I understand that in the eyes of the world, he is considered an adult.
But in my eyes, he is still my sweet baby.

I wish I could hold him one more time.
I wish for those sweet little boy days when he would hold my hand.

We feel the growing pains.
We know that he is ready to go out into the world.

I worry that I haven't told him everything that needs to be said.
But I have to believe that he will be okay.

I hear from a few reliable sources that he will come back to us at some point down the road.
That the aliens that have invaded his mind and body will slowly slip away.
I am holding on to hope that the day comes soon when my buddy is laughing and hanging with us again.

For now, I will admire him from a distance and be proud of him.
He is a good kid.
With a big heart.

He is one of my greatest accomplishments in life.
18.

Whoa. What just happened? #mayorofacl

The kids and I joked that our family should enter the Mayor of ACL contest.
My friends and I kinda laughed about it and talked about what fun it would be.

There was a contest.  My friend, Becky, nominated me.

We made a little video to enter the contest.  Jeff came up with the idea.  The kids were happy to play along.  I mostly just stood where I was told.  :)

Then we got picked in the top 3.  And before I even knew what was happening, I was on the original set of the famous Austin City Limits show being interviewed by Evan Smith.  (WHOA)

 





And before I knew it, there was a social media election.  I was a nervous wreck.  All of our friends and family rallied behind me.  The kids were on board and had their friends tweeting and sharing like high school kids do.  The moms from the neighborhood were in a bar (campaign central) retweeting and hashtagging and alla that stuff.  While I sat at home with all of my kids asleep and my husband snoring on the couch.  It was best that I was alone because it was all so overwhelming.  At one point I looked at my phone and had over 200 text messages. 

And then I saw this.  I still can't believe it.

It still seems unreal.
I am so thankful.
And excited.

And I will do everything I can to be the best #mayorofacl and an ambassador of fun!

Huge big thanks to all of my friends, family, strangers and social media friends.  Big air hugs coming your way!!!

12, 11, 9, 6, 1

And just like that, we have a senior, junior, freshman, 6th grader and 1st grader.
I don't even know what to say about it because I am too busy trying not to cry.
Damn, I love these people.