Hats All Folks

I went to a party the other night.

My friend, Sara, was hosting a ladies hat party.

Everyone was asked to bring a food item to share and wear their favorite hat or one that is special to them.

I was reluctant.

The truth is, I was pretty much stressed about the whole thing.

Unlike Sara, I am not able to share my feelings openly and with a group of ladies.

I mean I AM able to share, but it is almost always with a good dose of sarcasm and self depreciation.

So we walk into this hat party and sure enough the chairs are in a circle and the ladies are ready to talk.

It was hard for me.

Hard might be an understatement.

everybody share now

My eyes still hurt from trying to keep them from rolling.

And all of the ladies were telling sincerely touching stories about their adventures and their history.

One in particular was a gift from her mother and it is a hat that she cherishes because her mother bought it for her during a time in her life that her mother was present - and that was rare.

So the hat was a reminder of her mother being there for her.

Another was a story of a lady that travels to Africa often and how she bought the handmade hat from a starving child.

And then their was the lady who wore an Asian type hat because it reminded her of her dad fighting in Vietnam.

When it came to be my turn I gave my normal smirk and said I walked into the closet and grabbed the first one I saw.

Causes I am cool like that.

(Read: asshole)

hostess and me

Sara tried her hardest to get more out of me.  Where is it from?  What does it say?  I see Joe's BBQ is written on it.

But I wasn't gonna crack.

No way no how.

And then there was Jena, who was called upon to share her story and literally made something up on the fly.
(Read: bold faced lie).
Although it was a very entertaining story and I don't think that anyone else knew that she was pulling something from the clear blue sky.

I drove home that night and talked with Jena about the party and what the folks had shared.

And how it was a little uncomfortable.

And how it was really interesting how all of the virtual strangers could come together and speak so freely.

And now - a few days later the ladies of the hat share have been on my mind.

Their stories.

Their laughter.

Their tears.

I realized how fortunate I am to be able to experience these sorts of things.

I realize that it is just as normal for some people to share and to openly love as it is for me to clam up.

I have so much love inside of me to give.

And I know that it is okay that share it in my own time and with people that I trust.

I am thankful that Sara continues to include me.
Especially because I know that she knows that these things are not easy for me.

one gal came with hats to give away.
i really wanted this one - too bad it was too small.

 And I am also thankful that she continues to reach out and hug me even though she know that I am secretly freaking out inside.