Friday, May 1, 2015

The me i think i am

I was driving around in circles this morning thinking about things.

Wasting time.
Trying not to be at home or anywhere else that someone might ask me to do something for them.

And then it hit me.
Like a ton of bricks.
And with extreme clarity.

I am a grudge holder.

44 years into this freak show and I am starting to understand the me that I think I am.

Naturally, I had to have a conversation with myself about this revelation.

And naturally, I had to convince myself that it is okay to own it.

But it is so clear now.
As hard as I try, there are just somethings I can't let go.

I am pretty good at forgiving.
I am awesome at saying sorry.  (Apparently to a fault - according to my family)

I am not so good at forgetting.

And today - right this very moment - I am okay with that.

I wonder what I'll learn about myself tomorrow?