A lot has happened in the last 7 days.
Most of which I chose not to share.
The house is quiet now while I do laundry and sob.
I think about the people whose bodies fill these clothes.
My love for them is unwavering.
And yet sometimes it hurts so much that I don't know if I can possibly love any more.
And then the ache inside my heart is forgotten because of a laugh, a smile or the simple question 'will you wipe my bottom.'
And the icing on the cake of the terrible terrible week - tomorrow school starts.
Someone save me.
How do I keep them here with me forever.
Will they ever fully understand how desperately I wanted each of them?
Can they ever know how I have cried for them?
If I have it my way, it will stay deep down inside of me until my end.
So their days can be carefree.
There are so so many ways that I mess up.
I hope I don't look back and realize that I messed up on the love.
I truly believe that no one can ever fully understand the love of a mother.