Monday, August 26, 2013

the ache

A lot has happened in the last 7 days.
Most of which I chose not to share.

The house is quiet now while I do laundry and sob.
I think about the people whose bodies fill these clothes.

My love for them is unwavering.
And yet sometimes it hurts so much that I don't know if I can possibly love any more.

And then the ache inside my heart is forgotten because of a laugh, a smile or the simple question 'will you wipe my bottom.'

These kids.
My heart.

And the icing on the cake of the terrible terrible week - tomorrow school starts.
Someone save me.

How do I keep them here with me forever.
And ever.

Will they ever fully understand how desperately I wanted each of them?
Can they ever know how I have cried for them?

If I have it my way, it will stay deep down inside of me until my end.
So their days can be carefree.

There are so so many ways that I mess up.
I hope I don't look back and realize that I messed up on the love.

I truly believe that no one can ever fully understand the love of a mother.

1 comment:

jeri lynn said...

you make me cry. for the things i understand and for the things that i don't but someday will and for the things i'll never understand simply because we're different people. i love you.