Thursday, November 14, 2013


Last night I ran into the grocery store to get something to cook for supper.
I had $8.
The last of our money until payday.
I thought long and hard about what I could get.
I ended up with a sack of potatoes, a gallon of milk and green onions.

My total was $6.48.
Behind me there was a man and woman checking out.
I saw their groceries.
I overheard them talking about their alcohol.
And I watched the lady pay for the expensive craft beer with cash and the rest of the food with the Lone Star Card.
It made me mad.

I began stewing.
Here I am spending the last of our money on supper until payday and they are buying their fancy groceries thanks to the government and paying cash for their $9 beer.

How dare them!

After I checked out, I turned around to glance at the couple one more time before leaving the store.
At that moment, I felt ashamed.

Who am I to judge those folks?
Why is what they are doing wrong and upsetting to me?

Maybe that six pack of craft beer was a treat for them.
Maybe they genuinely have a rough time and need the government help.

I am no different than that couple.
I spend money on things I shouldn't and probably have family members and friends shaking their heads at our choices.
We made a choice to take our family camping this weekend.
Knowing it would leave us short on cash for the week.
It was our choice.

Why would I spend my energy being upset with someone I don't even know over circumstances that I have no idea about?
These people deserve love and compassion too.
I am no better than them.

I came home with my $6.48 worth of groceries and made a fantastic pot of potato soup.
In our warm home.
With our TV on.
Surrounded by people that I love.
What a lucky person I am.

I pray everyday that I will see the love in the world.
That I can find the good.

And I know that having hateful feelings towards people that I don't know is not going to to allow me to have a clear path to giving love and kindness.

I am not perfect.
But I want people to love me, flaws and all.
And I am trying to learn to do the same.

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