Surround Me With Love

 

This morning Wyatt was upset because he thought his friends at school would make fun of his shoes because they are hand-me-downs that his brothers and sisters wore. He cried real and big tears.

This afternoon Jena was upset about her teacher saying she cheated on a test and deducting 10 points.

This evening Miles was upset because he was starving and he didn't like what I cooked for supper and he went to bed hungry.

Tonite Ella was upset because it is the last week of the six weeks and she is stressed and overwhelmed and she procrastinates.

Sam spoke between 10-15 words to us today. ALL DAY. TOTAL. COMBINED.

It doesn't end.
Sometimes it really sucks.
I am exhausted.
And I wouldn't change a single thing.
I love these kids so much and I am trying so hard.

As long as they know we love them and they are all I ever wanted.

The days have been long and a bit dark.
I must move forward and surround these people with love.

And in turn surround myself with love.
Every night without fail I close my eyes singing this song from my childhood. It comes out of nowhere and is like a security blanket in the long dark hours.

 



Day dreaming

this is the view as i stand at the kitchen window.
it is a beautiful view.
i am always so thankful that we live someplace so beautiful and natural.
it is such a beautiful and calm place to be.
most especially on days like this where it is rainy and everything is so so green.

someone once asked me if i ever felt like i live in a tree house.
sometimes, i do.

and then i turn to my right and this is what i see.
one and a half days worth of dirty dishes.
calm feeling gone.
ugh.

and then i look to my left and this is what i see.
3 loads of clean clothes on the table.
800 loads of dirty laundry on the floor.
little boy with a very permanent marker in his hand.
and a dog that hopes these stinky piles of clothes never ever go away.

 

 

and i find myself daydreaming.

about the beach.

and the sun.

and vacation.



and somehow i end up spending hours and hours looking through these pictures dreaming of being here again.
with my people.
away from the dishes and the phones and the chaos.

i can hear the laughs.
the seagulls.
the bickering.  (keeping it real, folks)
i can feel the salty wind.
and the tightness of my sunkisses skin after a long day in the happy place.

 

and then the phone rings and i am brought back.

to the calm place looking out the window.

it is true, vacation is so nice.

 

but i guess when it comes down to it, it is good to be home.

i love home.



rules

it all seems so simple.

did someone say bunny?

we had a nice easter weekend.
saturday soccer games and garage sale kept us at home.
it was kinda a bummer to not see our family and it was also a nice change to just stay put.

most of the regulars came over for a little easter shindig on saturday night.

egg hunters

 

miles made a fantastic tie dye cake.  it turned out so dang good and was loads of fun to make.

 

i know you want some

we went to church sunday evening.
i thought it was so nice.
although some of the kids don't realize just yet that it was nice.
i think that someday they might look back at this journal of sorts and realize - oh, yeah.  my mom wasn't so mean after all and that church she made me go to was actually pretty cool.
maybe.
hopefully.







at church they sang songs from handel's messiah.  and they also mixed it up with songs from the Quincy Jones version of handel's messiah.

it was so dang uplifting.

pastor jen spoke about the resurrection and how each day we can chose to resurrect ourselves and make a difference.
it wasn't a long sermon, there was no shouting from the pulpit or guilt trips laid down - but they were very powerful words.

i couldn't help but to cry when jen read from the bible that mary had gone to the tomb and jesus wasn't there.
mary's grief and joy overwhelmed me.

i also got a chuckle as i was reminded of peter denying his friend, jesus.
it is a story as old as time and yet i had to laugh at the relevance it has in my life and in our daughters lives even today.

all and all - it was a fantastic day.

Live from flu central

KC here, reporting from flu central.
Word has just come to me that we have confirmed the 4th case of the influence A virus.

All medical professionals are encouraging hand washing, cough catching and flu shotting.

The nurse on staff is doing a fine job keeping the fluids flowing, the medicine administered and the dogs walked.

Stay tuned for additional updates regarding this epidemic.

I am KC reporting from flu central.

aca-believeit!

Because I worked 8 million hours before Christmas and because we just needed some down family time, we spent a good portion of the last week of Christmas break watching movies.  We watched and watched and re-watched.  It was so nice for it to be cold outside, warm inside and all my kids here watching together.

Here is run down of what we watched -

Pitch perfect.  Aca-Hilarious.  We watched it at least 6 times.  And we all went back to school singing the songs.  Aca-fabulous!

Catfish.  Wow - my friend Sarah told me about the movie a long time ago.  Good stuff.  Good to watch with teens.  Kinda grossed out by the amount of hair Nev had on his chest - but that's just me.

Moonrise Kingdom.  Jeff and I saw this in the movie theatre for his birthday.  I though it was a bit weird.  We watched it 3 times during the break.  I think it is the kinda of movie that grows on me, like Napoleon Dynamite.

Big Miracle.  Whales being saved.  Feel good.  Tears.  And surprisingly, I do kinda actually remember something about this happening in real life.

Hear Comes The Boom.  I LOVED THIS MOVIE.  Say what you will about Kevin James, I understand that he will always be Paul Blart Mall Cop to some.  But I LOVED this movie.

Couples Retreat.  Waste of my time.  And I was tricked by 14 year old girl.  I could have been watching Pitch Perfect again and perfecting my line memorization.

Family Stone.  My all time favorite.  Ever.

The Odd Life of Timothy Green.  Another feel good movie that I loved.  Jeff not so much.  I guess there weren't enough people shooting each other or aliens invading the planet earth.  Whatevs.

War Horse.  The younger set really liked this movie.  I thought it was okay.  I guess I was just in a mood to see bright shiny happy movies and this was a little too dark, rainy and muddy.  Although it guess it did make us all feel good.


****
Oh, and I just remember that Jeff and the big kids saw The Hobbit on Christmas Day.  (me and the little guy stayed home)

And I saw The Guilt Trip with my girlfriends.  The movie was good but I was so dang bummed out because I wanted popcorn and the popcorn machine was broken.  :(

Lift it up

I went to church today.
I woke up, bolted up, and went.
Alone.

I don't know what I am looking for.
But I do know there is comfort in that place.

There are so many people we love with so so many struggles right now.
In the last 6 days we have had a dear friend lose a family supporting job, a friend lose a dear pet, 2 separate friends have parents with very serious health problems, a friend with a husband in the hospital, and so so so many of our people having to deal with cancer.

Stoopid cancer.
I hate cancer.

 

 

I don't know what 2013 holds for me or my family.

But I do know that I have this need to find comfort.

To live honestly.

To be the best person I can possibly be.

And for some reason, I feel called to walk through the doors of the church.

 

Searching for answers.

Singing a familiar song.

Sitting in the quiet reverent place with people around me that I do not know, but who are just like me - and human.