Funny how those three words can have a few different translations. For example:
LIFE and DEATH - as in EMERGENCY EMERGENCY EMERGENCY
life and death - as in two things that happen on a daily basis.
Anyhow. About life - I am trying so hard to relax and have peace. I mean, just daily things like breathing and staying calm and taking in the moments. No stress. No drama. Everything is gonna be ok.
About death - My uncle Freddie is going to be taken off of life support tonight. He has had stomach cancer for a few months. I don't know what the word is to describe how I am feeling. So so so sad and at the same time - a little bit of peace. He married my aunt Marcella (mom's sister) in the 90's (maybe '93). He is her second husband. Her first husband, my uncle Buddy, died after having a massive heart attack one morning. They were high school sweethearts and had been together for 40 or so years. No one could imagine her without him. Then she met Freddie. Initially, everyone had a hard time with their relationship. It was just shocking to see her with someone else. With time, everyone could see how truly happy they were together. He held her hand and took care of her. You could tell that they were in love.
I have always had a very special feeling about Freddie. From the moment we first met, he was kind and accepting of me and my Carr family with no questions asked. Sometimes that is the nice thing about having a new person come along. They just don't care about the crap of the past. Anyhow, we saw my Aunt Marcella and Uncle Freddie a few times here in Texas. Most memorably though, we spent time with them at their house in Missouri.
Tonight when we were talking to the kids about Uncle Freddie dying, they all were sad. The older kids remembered fun times with Freddie, like when he caught lighting bugs with them or when he taught Sam how to play dominoes. We looked at pictures of him from our last vacation to their house.
I will be leaving early tomorrow morning to go to Missouri with my parents. This will be an adventure. Something I know I need to do.
I'll keep you posted on the journey. It isn't very often that a grown child takes a trip with her aging parents. I am very much looking forward to it.
Summer 2005 - (right to left) Aunt Marcella, Uncle Freddie, Me, 5 kids, cousin Stacy and Grandmommy.