Crush

I have been on a pretty big trip lately. Down memory lane, that is. Whew, it is crazy how memory lane can mess with your mind. The sights, the sounds, the friends. It is almost too much for one very emotional girl to handle!

I have been thinking the last couple of nights about childhood crushes. Seems like spending so much time with old friends really make people start talking about those types of things. It is funny how an old familiar face can bring back so many of those types of feelings.

I listened to a lot of my dear friends, both men and women, talk about their first crush. You see, I am from a very small town. A town where everyone knows each other and their mother.

I had a long conversation with one of my childhood friends about his first crush. Turns out that she is one of my best friends. We all knew he liked her. We all thought it was cute back in those school days. But for him, it was like it was yesterday. This girl was better than sliced bread in his book. He remembers calling her house. He remembers being in school with her. He even bought her a stuffed animal - which was a big deal back in the day of us all being poor country folk. He was talking to me about it like it was yesterday. He is happily married with a sweet toddler and a new baby on the way. But this was serious business for him back when we were kids.

I was never that girl that people had a crush on. I just kinda blended in with the grass on the playground. I can remember the friends wanting to 'go together'. I was the girlfriend that had to hand the cute boy the note for my buddy. I was the one that did the the leg work to make sure that these country boys knew that someone had their eye on him.

And then one summer in junior high, it happened. I had my first crush. How weird. I thought the sun and moon hung in the sky for this fella. If he had asked me to run away with him, I'd have done it. It was a brief fling. It was the stuff that summers are made of. He'd sneak to my parent's house. We'd make goo-goo eyes to each other across church pews. I'd fix my hair before going to a swimming party. There were hours and hours on the phone. There was a first kiss and very innocent private moments. It was the stuff that teenage girls dream about.

And then, we went to high school and life moved on. Maybe that was what made those moments so magical. It was my secret. I loved it.

After 25 years, I've become reunited with that crush again. I was so nervous to see him. Our families have met. I am so glad that he has a good life. I am so proud of the fact that he loves his wife and family and that he turned out okay. I am thankful that he was kind to me.

I've been thinking about our kids and wondering who that person will be for them. We are starting to get to that age around here. I hope it is a sweet time for them the way it was for all of us.

And I hope that they warn their first crush that their mom is a little nutty and will full on punch them in the belly if they even consider hurting one of my kids!